The Important Things in Life

Hello again,

        Yesterday you were 9 weeks old. That means that you are an inch long and you are developing your liver, spleen, gallbladder, and diaphragm to help you breathe after you are born. I had a difficult experience on Friday. I wanted to share it with you and assure you that the world is wrong about the things that are most important in life. I am so happy that I am having you now and grateful to have a loving and kind husband to help me raise you. There are so many people in the world today without this blessing, and I know that your Heavenly Father has given me so much mercy. There have been men that I've known and dated in my life that aren't 1/10th of the man that your dad is.

        I had the difficult experience that I mentioned above during clinical in the hospital. I was assigned to a nurse that was the furthest thing from a ray of sunshine. Most of the things I learned are things that I shouldn't do as a nurse. I even had someone complain about the service they were receiving. She was the first person not to congratulate me when they found out about you. You could see the judgment in her eyes and the resentment on her face. Then, she persisted to ask everyone that walked into the break room where we were about their kids and told them they didn't need to have any more. She complained about how expensive kids are along with anything else that she could think to complain about.

I knew that I probably shouldn't even mention you to her especially since I'm not showing yet, but sometimes I am bad about ignoring the impressions I receive. I really need to get better at following impressions. The conversation kind of just led to children, I didn't openly volunteer the information. When she acted as she did, I didn't let her steal my joy. I just smiled and did my best to understand that she is brain-washed into believing that pursuing money and material items matters most in the world. However, I know that there are really only two things we can take with us when we die: the wisdom and learning we obtain while we are here on earth and our families. Family should absolutely be a priority. I don't mean to say that I believe that hard work isn't important. I know that it is important to gather resources in order to provide for our families, but we should do it with our families in mind. I know that working with the objective of obtaining money makes work long, daunting, and unfulfilling.

Today, I was also thinking about the advantages and disadvantages of you being born into the church. On the one hand, you will know the truth from an early age which will help you make better decisions in your childhood and throughout your teenage years if we are able to convey and you are able to fully understand the importance of obeying the commandments and repenting. Because I was not a member of the church, I grew up confused about all the different doctrine taught by different churches. I'm glad that you don't have to have the confusion that I had growing up. However, I think that sometimes the members who grow up in the church can take the gospel for granted. If you constantly see light, you can grow accustomed to it. For me, I felt like I had lived in the darkness for so long I was astonished by the bright light that I had found. The gospel was so clear and coherent and beautiful to me.

You will have questions, and that's okay. It is important to question, that's what led me to the church. Everyone has to gain a testimony of the restoration of the gospel of Jesus Christ regardless of whether they are born in the church or not. Someone gave a talk today about Jeffery R. Holland's talk on belief. Here are some thoughts he shares about what to do when questions arise:

"When problems come and questions arise, do not start your quest for faith by saying how much you do not have, leading as it were with your “unbelief.” That is like trying to stuff a turkey through the beak! Let me be clear on this point: I am not asking you to pretend to faith you do not have. I am asking you to be true to the faith you do have. Sometimes we act as if an honest declaration of doubt is a higher manifestation of moral courage than is an honest declaration of faith. It is not! So let us all remember the clear message of this scriptural account: Be as candid about your questions as you need to be; life is full of them on one subject or another. But if you and your family want to be healed, don’t let those questions stand in the way of faith working its miracle.

Brothers and sisters, this is a divine work in process, with the manifestations and blessings of it abounding in every direction, so please don’t hyperventilate if from time to time issues arise that need to be examined, understood, and resolved. They do and they will. In this Church, what we know will always trump what we do not know. And remember, in this world, everyone is to walk by faith."

I love you so very much, and I am so grateful to be having you. Thinking of you often.

Love,
Mom